Jesus on the Law
PART 4: DIVORCE ¥ MATTHEW 5:31-32

Baxter T. Exum (#1606)
Four Lakes Church of Christ
Madison, Wisconsin
August 8, 2021

It is good to be back together again this morning! As usual, I hope all of us have the elements for the LordÕs Supper, either from home or from the table in the entryway, as John/Aaron will be leading us in the prayers for the Supper right after our study this morning, and then Caleb/Chris will be leading us in our songs before we dismiss [for class].

I am especially thankful to Caleb for preaching last week! We had a good trip several hours straight north of here, to Ironwood, Michigan. We got to replenish our supply of frozen pasties, and I also got to swim in Lake Superior! I am that tiny dot in the middle of the picture up here. But when you take Highway 51 north out of Madison, this is basically where it ends. Last Sunday, we were able to worship with the church in Woodruff, Wisconsin; basically, on the north side of Minocqua. Including us, they had twelve people in attendance, and we enjoyed the fellowship. But again, we are thankful for the opportunity to have been away for a bit.

As we begin today, we want to make sure we do the best we can to clearly communicate GodÕs plan of salvation. We know that we sinned, but God loved us so much that he sent his only Son as a sacrifice for our sins. Jesus lived a perfect life, he was crucified, he was buried, but he was also raised up on the third day. We respond to this good news by believing it, by turning away from sin, by confessing Jesus as the Christ, the Son of God, and by allowing ourselves to be buried with him in baptism, for the forgiveness of sins. At that point, we are born into GodÕs family, and the Christian life begins.

And once again, we have some good news this morning! This first one comes to us through Don Blackwell and is a picture of John Lenny of England. John came across a clip from the Gospel Broadcasting Network on YouTube, he did some study of denominationalism through GBN and also through Apologetics Press, he had what he describes as Òa precious Zoom call,Ó and he was baptized just over a week ago in the Thames [TIMS] River in London. He attended worship for the first time last Sunday, where he received a warm welcome, and he was pleasantly surprised that they studied the baptism of the Ethiopian Eunuch by Philip in Acts 8. So, we welcome John into GodÕs family this week. In case you would like to study what John studied, I have included the addresses up here Ð to www.apologeticspress.org and to www.gbntv.org.

And the second example comes to us from Don Walker in Trenton, Georgia. Don says, ÒNo better way to end a long and tiring week than to get to share in the baptism of two dear friends, a father and son, who have been my friends since we moved here. Ken is having so much trouble with one of his legs that Danny had to use the tractor bucket to load and lower him into the water. Truly an emotional day! I have loved this family and was so happy today to see these men take this spiritual step! God bless you, Ken and Danny! Welcome to GodÕs family!Ó I have never seen a tractor used in a baptism, but what great news from Georgia this week! And we share this by way of encouragement: What John did in the Thames River in London and what Ken and Danny have done in a pool in Georgia, you can do today. Pull me aside after worship, give me or one of our other shepherds a call or text during the week, and we would be more than happy to study together.

Several weeks ago, we started to look at what Jesus has to say about the Law of Moses in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5. We looked at whether the Law was completely ÒobsoleteÓ in every way, and we learned from Jesus (in Matthew 5:17-20) that he came not to abolish the Law, but to fulfill it. And we also learned that our righteousness must surpass that of the scribes and the Pharisees.

We then started looking at a series of statements, ÒYou have heard that it was saidÉbut I say to you.Ó And the first example Jesus gives is GodÕs command against murder. Yes, murder is obviously wrong, but Jesus raises the bar and explains that anger and name calling are both wrong as well. In fact, they are wrong enough to get us sent into a fiery hell.

Two weeks ago, we looked at the fact that adultery is also a sin, but once again, Jesus raises the bar as he explains that it is also a sin to look at a woman with lust in our hearts.

This morning, we continue with the next example, and the passage weÕll be looking at today is Matthew 5:31-32. And this time, Jesus addresses divorce. And once again, Jesus will quote what these people have heard, but then he raises the bar. He corrects their misunderstanding of the Old as he introduces the New. Our goal this morning is to learn from Jesus. Our goal is to study the word of God and to understand it to the best of our ability, and then, to apply it, to allow what Jesus says here to change us (instead of trying to change his word to fit our circumstances or to fit the way we already think about this subject). Obviously, there are many opinions on this, but the wide variety of opinions are not the result of the Lord being unclear. But instead, the lack of clarity goes back to the fact that so many people, even religious people, have ignored what Jesus says here.

By the way, when we say that marriage is to be between one man and one woman for life, our friends in the LGBT+ community will often object by saying, ÒOh really!Ó And they say this, because many who teach the Òone man and one womanÓ part tend to ignore the Òfor lifeÓ part. Many in the religious world have followed the example of the Pharisees and now practice what we might describe as Òserial monogamy.Ó Yes, they believe in one man and one woman, but the really mean Òone at a timeÓ or Òone after another.Ó So again, our friends in the LGBT+ community have a valid point. They see ÒusÓ as being inconsistent. What we need, then, is consistency. What we need is to go back to what Jesus says. What we need to do is to hold ourselves to the LordÕs standard. So, with this as background, letÕs look at what Jesus has to say in Matthew 5:31-32, 

31 ÒIt was said, ÔWHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCEÕ; 32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

As we learn from what Jesus says here, I want us to look at what Jesus says these people had HEARD, and then I want us to pay special attention to what JESUS has to say.
I. We start, then, with what these people had HEARD.

And in this case (unlike the previous commandments against murder and adultery), Jesus does not directly quote from the Law of Moses this time. He alludes to it, but what he says here is not a direct quote. Instead, Jesus seems to be summarizing a popular understanding of what was in the Law, going back to a misunderstanding of Deuteronomy 24:1-4. Back in Deuteronomy 24, God basically regulates what the people were already doing. Like today, divorce was widespread back then, and men were abusing it by taking a dowry, getting married, living with a woman for a few years, and then kicking her out, only go get a new woman (with a new dowry), and so on Ð like we have today, Òserial monogamy,Ó one woman at a time, one woman after another.

The problem was: When a man said, ÒGet out!Ó the woman was basically forced into a life of poverty or prostitution. God, then (in Deuteronomy 24), forced the men, 1.) to have a reason, Òsome indecency,Ó and, 2.) they had to put it in writing. So, instead of just telling their wives to leave, they had to go Òon record.Ó There was a process to it. They had to explain themselves. They had to give a reason. Over time, though, they abused this as well, and by the time we get to Jesus, the Pharisees were pretty good at this. They had redefined the cause of ÒindecencyÓ as pretty much anything, ÒThat zucchini lasagna the other day was pretty indecent; this woman needs to go!Ó Well, we have commentaries on the Law from back in the First Century, and some, in fact, were divorcing their wives when they ÒdidnÕt do what they told them to do.Ó Some justified divorce if their wives couldnÕt bear children, if one eye was bigger than the other, for poor posture, thinning hair, if she burned a meal, if the man found somebody younger or prettier, any reason at all. They had taken this passage from Deuteronomy 24, intended to protect women from being tossed aside for no reason, intended to limit divorce, and they had reduced it to nothing more than a command to get the paperwork right. So, if you filled out the right form, you were seen as being righteous. You did the right thing by giving her the certificate of divorce instead of just kicking her to the curb. Jesus, though, seems to be saying here that if Òget the paperwork rightÓ is what you get out of Deuteronomy 24, then you have terribly misunderstood Deuteronomy 24! This is not what God originally intended. This is not righteousness!

And this is pretty much where we are today, right? Divorce for any reason. As a culture, we donÕt even need a reason. But instead, the emphasis today, as it was then, is that we get the paperwork right. We fill out the papers, we take it to the judge, and the divorce is granted, as if a piece of paper from a pagan judge can dissolve a covenant made in the presence of God. And this is the LordÕs concern here: The people had taken a concession, intended to protect women from frivolous divorce, and they had reduced it to a legal loophole that was used to commit the sin of serial monogamy Ð one woman at a time, one after the other.

II. In verse 32, then, the Lord continues with his update on this practice Ð he clarifies the Old as he introduces the New, ÒBUT I SAY TO YOU THAT EVERYONE WHO DIVORCES HIS WIFE, EXCEPT FOR THE REASON OF UNCHASTITY, MAKES HER COMMIT ADULTERY; AND WHOEVER MARRIES A DIVORCED WOMAN COMMITS ADULTERY.Ó

Like he does a bit later in Matthew 19, Jesus rules out all other reasons for divorce, except for one, Òunchastity,Ó as the NASB puts it. The word here is ÒPORNEIA,Ó defined as Òunlawful sexual intercourse.Ó And without this, when a man divorces his wife, he Òmakes her commit adultery.Ó In Matthew 19, the one who divorces his wife is guilty of adultery, but here, he Òmakes her commit adultery.Ó ItÕs the same concept, but this time itÕs from the womanÕs point of view. And what the Lord is doing here fits in with the verses leading up to this. The Pharisees saw themselves as being righteous, but Jesus accuses them of committing adultery in their hearts by lusting after other women, and here, not only are THEY committing adultery, but they are causing OTHER PEOPLE to commit adultery. They see themselves as being righteous, but Jesus says that they are creating adultery all over the place. You are not righteous, but you are multiplying adultery!

Of course, the big question is: In what sense are these men making their wives commit adultery? Two weeks ago, we learned that ÒadulteryÓ is something only married people can do. Adultery is basically cheating on a spouse. What Jesus is saying, then, is that when a man gets the paperwork right and kicks his wife out for a reason other than sexual sin, he is putting her in a position where she basically has no other choice but to enter into a new relationship, and when she does this, she is committing adultery, because she is still married (in GodÕs eyes) to that first husband. If the ÒcertificateÓ truly ended the marriage, the new relationship wouldnÕt be adultery. As it is, though, this verse reminds us that God doesnÕt always recognize our Òcertificates.Ó Surprise, surprise! God does not always see eye-to-eye with the State of Wisconsin or a Dane County judge or the Supreme Court of the United States. Our culture says: Get the paperwork right. Our culture says: Get your priest or pastor to put their stamp of approval on this. But God says that, ÒÉeveryone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.Ó By divorcing their wives for reasons other than them committing sexual sin, these men were forcing their wives into lives of ongoing marital unfaithfulness. And not only that, but anyone who might marry them in the future will also be guilty of adultery. And they will continue living in a state of adultery until they get out of it. This isnÕt something that regret, or prayer, or saying Òsorry,Ó or getting baptized will fix. The fix is getting out of the new relationship. We have multiple levels here, but their selfishness is creating adultery all over the place Ð for themselves (according to Matthew 19:9), for their wives, and for anybody who may marry their wives at any point down the line.

So, we get back to the fact that the Lord allows divorce and remarriage for only one reason: When a spouse commits fornication (sexual sin) only then can the one who is sinned against divorce the guilty party with GodÕs approval, and only then can the innocent spouse ever choose to get remarried. Without that one reason, the two might choose to separate for a time, but the goal is to get back together. And the options are, 1.) Reconciliation or 2.) Living a life of celibacy (according to Paul in 1 Corinthians 7).

By the way, we have something of a parallel passage over in Luke 16:18, where Jesus says, ÒEveryone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery.Ó He doesnÕt give the exception here, only the rule, and the rule is: Divorce and remarriage results in adultery. The one exception is given elsewhere. And the fact that the exception isnÕt given in every single passage on divorce is a reminder that the exception is not the point! The point is: Marriage is to be permanent. People tend to focus on the exception (and there is an exception), but when we focus on the exception itÕs easy to get sucked into this trap that the Pharisees found themselves in. They saw the exception in Deuteronomy 24, and they abused it, all while missing the point that they were not only committing adultery themselves, but they were creating ongoing adultery in the lives of their wives and their future spouses who married into that mess.

Conclusion:

As we close our thoughts on this passage, IÕd like to give a word of encouragement to those who are married and to those who are not yet married. First, to those who are married: Marriage can be difficult! Marriage can be really hard work sometimes. We have two independent people come together with different histories and expectations, even completely different value systems. And there will be conflict. Communication will break down from time to time. We say things we regret, or maybe the other person says things that we think they should regret, and so on. Marriage can be incredibly difficult. However, difficultly is not sufficient cause to start working on a divorce. Instead, difficulty is a reason to love that other person just as God has loved us: Patiently and sacrificially, doing what is best for that other person. Work through it, get help if needed, separate temporarily if absolutely necessary, but work on sticking together. What God has joined together, we have no right to separate.

But I would also give two brief words of encouragement to those of you who may consider getting married at some point. First of all, make sure that other person is truly eligible to get married - either getting married for the very first time or the one who was sinned against (the innocent spouse) in a divorce on the grounds of fornication. And this is important, because if you get married after a divorce that does not qualify under this exception or if you marry a person in this situation, Jesus describes it as committing Òadultery.Ó This adultery is an ongoing sin; we might compare it to having a long-term affair with another personÕs spouse. ItÕs not just the wedding thatÕs a sin, itÕs the relationship. The solution is to get out of that relationship. The best solution, though, is to not get in that relationship in the first place.

The second word of encouragement to those who are not yet married is to think very carefully ahead of time about the promises we make to another person in the presence of God. We are promising ourselves to another person, Òto live together after GodÕs law; to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, in prosperity and adversity, forsaking all others, for as long as we both shall live.Ó We are taking this other person to be Òmy wedded husband or wife,Ó and we are promising before God and these witnesses to be your Òloving and faithful spouse, for richer or poorer, in joy or in sorrow, so long as we both shall live.Ó So, going into it, I would encourage you to ask yourself: What could this other person possibly do that would cause me to look for a way out? What could this other person possibly do that would cause me to say, ÒThatÕs it. IÕm out of hereÓ? And if the answer to that question is anything short of ÒfornicationÓ (the one exception Jesus gives here in Matthew 5:32), I would strongly encourage you to hold off on getting married.

Many years ago, someone spoke at a late-night devotional down at Freed-Hardeman University, where both of us went to school, and I remember him saying that the best time to get a divorce is right now. And that shocked me at first, until I realized that all of us in the audience were not yet married! And thatÕs good advice to those who are not yet married: The time to get a divorce, the time to separate is before you ever get married.

I am thankful for your kind attention this morning, and IÕm looking forward to continuing next week with more of what Jesus has to say.

Before we partake of the LordÕs Supper together, letÕs go to God in prayer:

Our Father in Heaven,

This morning we are thankful for your word, and as we think about what we have read today, we pray that we would see marriage as you see it, that we would bring our thoughts in line with yours. In your amazing grace and mercy, you have carefully explained what you expect of us. For those of us who are married, we pray that our hearts would be open to living with each other in an understanding way, that we would not harden our hearts against each other, but that we would love each other just as you have loved us. For those considering marriage in the future, we pray that they would make decisions based on what we know from your word. We pray for greater faith.

And finally, Father, we are thankful for the marriages here at this congregation that have spanned many decades Ð 40, 50, 60 years, and beyond. Thank you, Father, for the examples we see around us.

Thank you, Father, for hearing our prayer. In Jesus we pray. Amen.

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