Proverbs on Speech
Part 2: Good Words (continued)

Baxter T. Exum (#1771)
Four Lakes Church of Christ
Madison, Wisconsin
February 9, 2025

Good morning and welcome! It is good to be together this morning, and if you are visiting with us today, we are especially happy to have you with us, and we’d like to ask that you fill out a visitor card – either online or on a card from the pew in front of you. And we also invite you to pass along any questions or prayer concerns in that way.

Since it has been a while, I wanted to share a few notes from students in our Bible correspondence course program! As you may know, we have done this for many years, but we offer a series of Bible study lessons that can be completed entirely through the mail. And while I read a few notes from our students, we’re putting our contact information on the wall up here and on your screen at home (for those of you joining us on YouTube). By the way, we are preparing for a possible move to a new church building by shifting our Bible correspondence course program to the PO Box. We get a lot of mail here, and this will be quite the transition, but we are preparing for a future where we will no longer be meeting here on Acewood Boulevard (whenever that may happen). If you are joining us on the phone, you can call or text me at 608-224-0274 and just give me your name and address, and we will get you started. It’s completely free, there’s no obligation, you can stop at any time, and we promise not to call and harass you if you do. You can also sign up under the “Get In Touch” tab on our website at www.fourlakeschurch.org. But, we do have a few notes to share:

    • Daniel (an inmate in Chester, Georgia)
    • Meagan (from Erie, Pennsylvania)
    • Zack (an inmate at an undisclosed location)
    • Luis (an inmate at the Stanley Correctional Institution, up near Eau Claire) 

But again, we share these notes 1.) as our invitation to you to enroll, and 2.) as a reminder to be praying for our students as well as for the members of the congregation who make this program possible.

Before we get to our study of God’s word today, it is our honor to preach the good news that God loves us, he sent his only Son to die in our place, and we obey this good news by believing it, by turning away from sin, by publicly confessing our faith that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and by allowing ourselves to be buried with Jesus in baptism, a burial in water for the forgiveness of sins. And, as usual, we do have several examples to share this week, starting with an update from the Northwest congregation in Fort Worth, Texas. They say that, “Yun has such has a tender heart and was baptized into Christ this afternoon. She moved from China and has been searching for the Lord for many years.” That is awesome!

This next one comes to us from the Piedmont Road congregation down in Marietta, Georgia. They posted a few days ago and they say, “Heaven bound!! Dawn and Martin Vaughn are the parents of Jake (on the right). Jake and his wife were baptized 11 months ago, and by God’s grace, he put both his parents into Christ tonight!” So good to see it!

This next one comes to us from the Bridge Avenue congregation down in Weslaco, Texas. They posted this week, and they say, “This morning, after worship services, Tessiea Doering decided to put on Christ in baptism! We are rejoicing with the angels in heaven about her decision. Please pray for her as she begins her new life in Christ. Tessiea’s brother, John Hallum, was baptized on May 10, 2023, and has been faithful ever since. Today she and her parents were our guests at services. The gospel was preached and she made the best decision of her life. Praise God!”

This one comes from the Lord’s church in Hawaii. They say, “Rejoice church! Dori has been studying the gospel with Iona and Bernice. She made the decision to be baptized into Christ this morning after services. Praise God for the gospel. To Him be the glory!”

We have others we could share today, but I’ll just share one more, from Warsaw, Poland. They posted this week, and Yuri says that, “Peter and Vladimir were baptized. Peter from Kharkov,Ukraine Vladimir from Slavyansk, Ukraine. God is faithful to his promises. He continues to save people, regardless of where they live. Mark 16:15-16 Praise the Lord!!” The Lord’s church in Poland has done some great things welcoming refugees from Ukraine. But, as always, we share these pictures as our invitation to you to obey the gospel just as these people have done. If we can help in any way, if you’d like to study together, please let us know. Pull me aside after worship, or give me a call or send a text to 608-224-0274.

This morning we are returning to our ongoing, long term, and very sporadic series of lessons from the book of Proverbs. Last week, I gave the reminder that my love for Proverbs goes back to Milton Tucker, my biology professor at Freed-Hardeman University down in Henderson, Tennessee. After last week’s lesson, I sent a quick note to brother Tucker’s wife Patricia, and I included the text where I mentioned them last week as well as a link to the lesson. A day or so later, she replied, and she says, “Baxter, thank you so much for the message. Milton has Parkinson’s so he falls often. He is in a memory care facility. It makes me so sad that I can’t take care of him at home but I am not able to get him up when he falls. He still remembers biology, especially things about plants and flowers. He will be so pleased to know that you are preaching from Proverbs. I will read your message to him. We have fond memories of our time in Madison. I hear from Juanita every year that keeps us in touch a little bit. I will pray for your work in Madison. I know it’s hard in that area. Thanks again for your message.” It is so good to hear from the Tuckers!

So, we are back to a series within a series from the book of Proverbs, and we are now looking at everything King Solomon says about the words that we speak. Up to this point, we have now covered 437 out of the 915 Proverbs, or right at 48%. And we are starting this series by looking at what Solomon says about the GOOD WORDS that we speak. We looked at seven of these last week, we have eight to consider this morning, and eight more next week. We know that God is a God who speaks, and this goes back to at least the beginning. God created, not by clapping his hands or by snapping his fingers, but he created the Universe by speaking it into existence, “Let there be light,” and so on. Words matter. Today, then, we continue with various proverbs concerning the GOOD use of the words that we speak. And as we did last week, we will look at these in canonical order, in the order they appear in Proverbs. I’m doing this just to make it easier to follow along.

    1. But let’s start today with Proverbs 15:4, where King Solomon says that, “A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit.”

Other translations may refer to a “wholesome tongue” or a “gentle tongue,” but Solomon is clearly referring to using the power of words to heal. And we know this is the case, because he refers to these soothing words as a “tree of life.” The tree of life, of course, first appears in the Garden of Eden, and it’s a tree that gives life (imagine that)! After the first sin, though, Adam and Eve are kicked out of the Garden of Eden so that they no longer have access to the tree of life, so that they are no longer able to live forever. The tree of life pops up a time or two elsewhere in scripture (including the reference here), but it reappears in the book of Revelation, with a reference to the tree of life being found in heaven, where we are once again allowed to live forever. Here in Proverbs, though, King Solomon uses the tree of life as a picture of healing.

On the other hand, however, Solomon continues with the negative, “but perversion in [the tongue] crushes the spirit.” Other translations refer to the perverted tongue “breaching” or “breaking” the spirit. And Solomon uses a word here that was used to refer to the breaking of a bone or to the breaching of a dam. Both, obviously, are quite destructive. On one hand, then, soothing or gentle words promote healing, while perverted words cause even more damage to a world that is already broken, and we don’t need that! A soothing tongue will speak truth when we need to hear it. A soothing tongue will speak words of encouragement when we are discouraged. A soothing tongue will give us courage when we are afraid. A perverted tongue, though, breaks the spirit.

I know it’s hard to self-diagnose, but let’s at least try asking ourselves: Do our words heal or hurt? When we leave a conversation, do people leave uplifted or discouraged? Do people leave healed or broken? Do we strengthen our families through our wholesome words, or do our words leave a trail of destruction? Are we generally cheerful and thankful, or do we whine and complain about everything? Solomon would encourage us to heal, not break, with the words that we speak.

    2. Our second proverb today comes a few verses later in Proverbs 15:7, where Solomon says that, “The lips of the wise spread knowledge, but the hearts of fools are not so.”

We continue, then, with a reference to “lips” and “hearts.” And those two pictures represent what we choose to say. On one hand, the lips of the wise spread knowledge, but on the other hand, the hearts of fools do not. So the question is: Do we spread knowledge through the things that we say? Do people benefit when we join the conversation, or don’t they? Do we say things that are important, or do we just contribute noise to the conversation? “Knowledge,” here, represents not just trivia, but facts that come from a heart of wisdom, and as we have defined it previously, wisdom is the practical application of knowledge. It seems, then, that Solomon is suggesting that we use our lips to spread wisdom.

I think we’d all agree that there’s a lot of noise in the world right now, a lot of nonsense – in person, in print, online, and on the radio. Solomon would encourage us: Don’t just add to the noise, but have something worth sharing. Don’t just talk about the weather. Don’t just talk about the latest celebrity news. Don’t just talk about what happened in the sports world over the weekend, but share knowledge! Share wisdom! What he’s saying here is: Teach! I know we often read James 3:1 where James warned about too many people becoming teachers (and we have to understand that in context), but we also have to remember the message to the Hebrews where the author says (in Hebrews 5:12) that “...by this time you ought to be teachers,” but instead, “you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of the oracles of God.” So, yes, teaching is a huge responsibility, but there is a sense in which all of us really do need to be sharing wisdom, and that’s what Solomon is suggesting here in Proverbs 15:7.

    3. We continue with Proverbs 15:23, where King Solomon says that, “A man has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word!”

We compare the translations on this one, and it’s pretty clear that Solomon is talking about giving an appropriate answer; that is, saying not just the right thing, but saying it at the right time (or at the right moment). We understand that speaking truth is good, but we also understand that speaking truth at the perfect moment is rare gift. I’ve often said that when I’m in a conversation or even in an argument with somebody, I usually come up with the best reply...in the shower the next morning! And that’s true, because I’ve had time to think about it. And maybe you can say the same thing. Here though, Solomon is suggesting that it is “delightful” to be able to say the right thing at the right time.

We think of the prophet Nathan who confronted Solomon’s father, King David. That right there is the perfect example of this, to be able to tell that parable, to have David blow a gasket, and then to be able to say, “You are the man!” Or we think of Joshua’s words of encouragement to the children of Israel as Joshua was about to die, “Choose for yourselves today whom you will serve...but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!” That is exactly what those people needed to hear at the exact moment they needed to hear it. The same goes for Jesus, of course. Jesus always knew not only the right thing to say, but when to say it. On one hand, when interacting with the woman caught in the act of adultery, he knew that that was not the time to preach a sermon on adultery. She knew she was guilty of adultery, the Jewish leaders knew she was guilty of adultery, everybody there that day knew she was guilty of adultery. That was not the time to go off on adulterers. No, that was a time to extend grace and mercy. In Matthew 23, however, when faced with the hypocrisy of the Pharisees, Jesus preached a sermon that might have caused this pulpit to catch on fire. He blasted like nobody’s ever blasted before, “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! Blind guides, sons of the devil, you whitewashed tombs full of dead men’s bones,” and so on. Jesus knew exactly what to say and when to say it, whether that might have been a rebuke, correction, encouragement, or forgiveness. Solomon says that this brings “joy” and is “delightful” or “good” (as most translations put it), “How good it is!”

    4. This brings us to Proverbs 15:30, where King Solomon says that, “Bright eyes gladden the heart; good news puts fat on the bones.”

And although speaking isn’t explicitly mentioned in this verse, we do read about the sharing of “good news,” and that certainly does involve words being spoken. And connected to this, King Solomon suggests that “bright eyes gladden the heart.” To have “bright eyes” was a figure of speech, referring to being happy or fully alert. From my childhood, I remember having a pillowcase that referred to being “bright eyed and bushy tailed.” A year or so ago, I actually found that old pillowcase on Ebay (probably not MY pillowcase, but one just like it). I found this one on Etsy yesterday (just to show you), but when I saw it, it brought back some good memories. Like many of you, one thing I miss most from my childhood is being able to sleep! But, being “bright eyed and bushy tailed” is a figure of speech referring to waking up after a good night’s sleep. We might think of a squirrel that’s fully alert. That tail is bushy! Well, we have a similar picture here in Proverbs 15:30 with this reference to “bright eyes” gladdening the heart. When somebody brings us good news, it “puts fat on the bones.” As we’ve discussed before, being fat in the ancient world was a sign of great wealth. If I have enough money to overeat, then I am obviously doing quite well. Kings, then, and other wealthy people, would be fat, and that was a good thing. Today, of course, it’s a problem. But in this context, being fat is good. It is good to hear good news. It’s good to share good news. And that’s why I’ve included this one with the other proverbs concerning the good use of our words.

    5. This brings us to the next verse, Proverbs 16:13, where King Solomon says that, “Righteous lips are the delight of kings, and he who speaks right is loved.”

We learn here that what we say has a way of making us valuable to those in positions of power. What we say has a way of winning hearts and minds. Wise speech gets us promoted. I do think we need to assume that Solomon is speaking of righteous kings, of course. Evil kings may not always appreciate “righteous lips.” Evil kings, in fact, have a way of surrounding themselves with evil advisors. Evil kings may just be looking for a stamp of approval. But a good king appreciates hearing righteous advice. As you may know, my prayer for our presidents over the past few decades has involved asking God to surround our leaders with wise advisors and that God would give our leaders the wisdom to follow good advice. That’s my prayer whether I agree with the president or whether I can’t stand the president. I want our leaders to be surrounded by wise counsel. We think of Pharaoh (a pagan king) listening to the advice of righteous Joseph. Good advice at just the right time might be able to save the nation. Later, we think of a righteous man like Daniel who advised multiple kings spanning several kingdoms. A good king will appreciate words of wisdom, and a good king will also appreciate the one who speaks those words.

Sometimes I wonder: If I had a chance to talk with some kind of government leader, what would I say? I’d probably thank him for his service, and let him know we’re praying for him, and then invite him to worship with us. That’s what I did when I met Governor Walker a few years ago. With a few of our presidents lately, I’ve thought I probably need to say, “It’s not lawful for you to have her.” That’s what John the Immerser said to King Herod, of course: The woman you have is not really yours. For some reason, John started there, because it is important. Marriage touches on who we are. And that didn’t end too well for John, did it? John spoke the truth to a powerful man and paid the price for it. A good king, however, will appreciate the one who speaks righteousness. Joseph, and David, Abigail, and Daniel, and Mordecai were all able to win over kings by speaking words of wisdom. Kings need wisdom, don’t they? I don’t know whether you’ve thought about this, but by the time an issue makes its way to a king or a president, there are no small problems, are there? Generally speaking, kings deal with big problems. Good kings, then, will appreciate righteous words. And what is true of kings is also true of us (on a somewhat lower level). We may not be dealing with matters of war and peace or the economy as a whole, but most of us should probably appreciate having friends who will tell us the truth. And we also need to be willing to be the friend who will speak the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. Because if we won’t, who will? Ultimately, the one “...who speaks right is loved,” Solomon says.

    6. We continue this morning with Proverbs 16:21, where King Solomon says that, “The wise in heart will be called understanding, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.”

Or, as other translations have it, “The wise in heart will be called prudent, and sweetness of speech increases understanding.” Others may refer to “gracious” speech, or speech that is “pleasant,” or speech that is “kind.” What we have here, then, is the combination of knowing what to say and how to say it in a kind and gracious way. Both sides here are so important! And if we lack either one, we really aren’t going to be able to communicate effectively. We need wisdom, and we also need kindness. We can be wise and mean or foolish and nice, and neither one is good at all. Instead, we really need to be both wise and gracious, and that allows us to communicate difficult truth effectively. Gracious speech allows others to receive the message. Without kindness, nobody cares what we have to say, even if we are speaking truth.

And again, isn’t Jesus the perfect example of this? Jesus spoke the truth. Sometimes he spoke some very difficult truth; but, people listened! I’m thinking of that time early in his ministry (in Luke 4), when Jesus read from the prophet Isaiah in the synagogue in Nazareth, and he began to say, “Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.” Those were some difficult words to digest, and yet the Bible says in the very next verse (in Luke 4:22), “And all were speaking well of Him, and wondering at the gracious words which were falling from His lips….” Or later, when the Jewish authorities sent soldiers to arrest Jesus, the soldiers came back empty-handed and said to the authorities, “Never has a man spoken the way this man speaks” (in John 7:46). Jesus communicated truth with grace.

    7. We continue with Proverbs 16:23, where King Solomon says that, “The heart of the wise instructs his mouth and adds persuasiveness to his lips.”

What I think is going on here is that the wise thinks before he speaks. He “instructs his mouth.” In other words, the one who is truly wise doesn’t just let it fly, but he speaks with intent. There is some thought to it. The wise will think carefully about what words are truly needed. And the goal here is “persuasiveness.” The goal here is “learning” (as some translations have it). There is to be a point to the words that we speak. As Josh read earlier from Ephesians 4:29, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” So, there’s a warning against “unwholesome words” (we’ll get to that in a few weeks), but I want us to notice the second part of that: We are only to speak words that are “good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” This takes some thought. This takes some preparation. This takes my heart instructing my mouth. This doesn’t happen by accident.

    8. We have time for one more today, so let’s wrap it up with Proverbs 16:24, where King Solomon says that, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Pleasant words are like dessert! Pleasant words are sweet, like a honeycomb, and these pleasant words bring “healing to the bones.” Last week, we learned that some people stab and destroy with their words, but the words here bring healing. I love the comparison to honeycomb. We don’t eat honeycomb too often, but we do use honey at our house. I use it in a recipe for homemade sourdough English muffins. That recipe has ruined all other English muffins for me. Nothing else compares to a fresh English muffin right out of the cast iron skillet. And there’s honey in there. This morning, I stopped by Woodman’s, as I usually do, and I stopped to look at the honeycomb. I thought that might be an awesome illustration. I thought that maybe we could share some honeycomb this morning. But as I stood there looking at it, I started wondering, how would we do this? How would we share honeycomb this morning? And then I thought: The person who’s signed up to clean the floors this morning might kill me! So, instead of bringing honeycomb with me this morning, I thought that maybe we could just think about it for a moment.

Honey is amazing. God described the land he was giving his people as “a land flowing with milk and honey” (Deuteronomy 8:7-9). The manna God provided for the Israelites in the wilderness tasted like wafers made with honey (Exodus 16:31). Kings gave honey as gifts (2 Samuel 17 and 1 Kings 14). Jonathan was refreshed by honey on the day of battle (1 Samuel 14). John the Baptist ate locusts and wild honey (Matthew 3:4). Honey has some amazing health benefits: combating allergies, calming a sore throat, beeswax itself is a source of fiber and digestive support, honey is anti-inflammatory, beneficial to the immune system, a source of energy, anti-bacterial when applied to a wound. Studies have been done suggesting a benefit to cognitive function, oral health, and on and on. And on top of all of that, it tastes good. It’s sweet.

And here, King Solomon uses honey to help us understand the value of pleasant words. What we say should be pleasant, and what we say should have the ability to heal. And Jesus is the perfect example of this. As we sometimes sing, “The Great Physician now is near, the sympathizing Jesus! He speaks the drooping heart to cheer, oh hear the voice of Jesus!” So, as we close today, we once again challenge ourselves to do something completely different from the culture around us, and that is: Let’s find a way to do something good with our words this week. Let’s find reasons to speak pleasant words this week. Who can we encourage? Who can we compliment this week? As God’s people, we have the power to do good and to heal through the words that we speak.

Conclusion:

This brings us to the end of today’s study, and next week we hope to pick up with eight more proverbs concerning the value of good words. As we close, let’s just remember: We have no idea who God may put in our path who may need some encouragement this week. How can our words bring life, spread knowledge, create joy, gladden the heart, and cause us to be loved, all while graciously bringing, well thought-out words of sweetness to the world around us? That’s our goal this week!

In just a moment, Michael will lead us in a song to help focus our thoughts on what we just studied, but before we sing, let’s go to God in prayer:

Our Father in Heaven,

We need your help to control our words this week. We pray for wisdom as we talk to the people around us. We pray that we would reflect the love of your Son to those we know. We pray for opportunities to encourage lift up. You have blessed us, and we ask that you would empower us to be a blessing to others.

We pray for Aaron and for Scott and Melissa as they travel today. And Father, we pray for Abe. You know how he’s doing today, and we ask for you to work through the nurses and staff at Meriter today. Bless them for the work that they do.

We ask all of this in Jesus’ name. AMEN.

To comment on this lesson: fourlakeschurch@gmail.com