Proverbs on Speech
Part 4: Stop Talking!

Baxter T. Exum (#1773)
Four Lakes Church of Christ
Madison, Wisconsin
February 23, 2025

Good morning and welcome! It’s good to see you, and if you are visiting with us today (either here in person or online or on the phone), it is especially good to have you with us, and we’d like to ask that you fill out a visitor card – either online or on a card from the pew in front of you. And we also invite you to pass along any questions or prayer concerns in that way. In terms of our calendar, let’s remember the SOUP, SLURP, SING, today, right after worship, at Patsy’s place up in Sun Prairie. The address is on the bulletin board, and John and Yonnie are coordinating this in Gary and Sara’s absence. So, if you have any questions, please get in touch with John or Yonnie today.

In terms of our prayer concerns, let’s remember that Jane is recovering from what appears to have been a stroke this week. And I’d also like to thank you guys for praying for our daughter this week. Last Sunday morning, she was rushed to the hospital down in Tennessee where they discovered a mass nearly the size of a softball, they transferred her to a larger hospital in Nashville, and I drove down there Sunday afternoon, in time to be with her for emergency surgery on Monday morning. Thankfully, she is doing much better, and we are hoping and praying for good news from pathology at any moment.

Since I just mentioned Milton Tucker a few weeks ago, I should let you know that he passed away this past Thursday. I have put his obituary on the bulletin board, but it does refer to him getting his PhD at UW Madison, and it does mention his tradition of reading from the book of Proverbs at the beginning of each class. I am so thankful that I reached out to sister Tucker two weeks ago and that she was able to share with him that we are studying Proverbs up here, thanks in part to his influence.

Before we get to our study of the Word today, it is our great honor to be able to preach the good news. God loves us and sent his only Son to die in our place. He was buried, but then he was raised up alive on the third day. We obey this good news by believing it, by having a change of heart where we turn away from sin, by publicly confessing our faith that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and by allowing ourselves to be immersed with Jesus for the forgiveness of sins. And, as usual, we do have several examples to share this week, starting with an update from the Lord’s church down in Coweta, Tennessee. They posted this week, and they say that, “After completing the Back to the Bible study, Cardell, Marissa and Jaiden answered the call and were baptized into Christ! The apostle Paul said in Ephesians 1:3 that ALL spiritual blessings are IN Christ. The way we access those blessings is by getting INTO Christ. Paul said in Galatians 3:27 that baptism is how we get into Christ. Today, these three souls are in a position to receive those spiritual blessings! All glory to God! If you have questions about your salvation, we would love to visit with you!”

This next one comes to us from the Griffin Road congregation down in Florida, where John and Yonnie were members, and where John preached for many years. They say that, “Sunday was a great day for all the angels in heaven rejoicing as Ashley Moyse gave her life to Christ and was immersed (baptized) for the forgiveness of her sins and to have eternal life (Acts 2:38). Please help Ashley in her new life in Christ to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18).” I remember John talking about the baptistery built into the floor up on the stage, and I finally get to see it! Good news from Florida!

There are others we could have shared, but we will end with these, from the Lord’s church over in Blacksburg, Virgina. They say, “What a joy it is to share these photos of our newest brother and sister in Christ! 1) Zachary Dorn chose to follow Jesus and was clothed in Christ through baptism last Wednesday. 2) Sarah, after several weeks of study and prayer, was born again last Sunday morning. Both Zachary and Sarah were added, by God, to the Lord's Church (just as the book of Acts describes). Fellow Christians: every time you praise God aloud or share your excitement for God with others – you are helping to spread the Gospel. Praise God with us over the salvation of Zachary & Sarah, and please help us to warmly welcome them into the family of God.” Sometimes people are baptized after the whole church partakes of the Lord’s Supper together, so it looks like they brought it to Sarah right there in the water, and I don’t think I have ever seen that before, but it is awesome! As always, we share these pictures as our invitation to you to obey the gospel just as these people have done. If we can help in any way, if you’d like to study together, please let us know. Pull me aside after worship, or give me a call or send a text to 608-224-0274.

This morning we are returning to our study of SPEECH in the book of Proverbs. In the big picture, we have now looked at 50% of the Proverbs. It’s actually 49.5 something, but we do round up at this point, so we are officially halfway through the book of Proverbs. Over the next few weeks, we hope to continue looking at Solomon’s advice on the words that we speak. We’ve been looking at the GOOD use of words over the past three weeks, and today we are moving along to what I would summarize as King Solomon’s advice to STOP TALKING! And it’s not just that, but as I’ve sorted through the book of Proverbs, I’ve pulled out all of the proverbs where Solomon discourages the use of words in some way or another. 

By the way, as I was just starting to think about today’s lesson (several weeks ago), I scrolled past an article on Newsmax, reporting on a study that found that we speak 3,000 fewer words every day than we did since 2005, and I just thought that was interesting. I read the summary, anticipating that the pandemic was responsible, but the study was actually from 2005 to 2018 (so this was pre-COVID), and researchers from the University of Arizona found the average number of words spoken during that time period dropped from around 16,000 to around 13,000 per day. And they found that technology, particularly texting, was one of the leading reasons for the decline, although they did find that working remotely also played a role. I’m guessing that COVID probably dropped this figure even further. The other thing I found interesting, though, is that the number of words spoken per day were roughly equal between the genders, except for between the ages of 25-64, with women speaking approximately 21,845 words per day compared to men speaking 18,570 each day. I have questions! My guess is that women are in professions where they do more talking, but I am also guessing that there’s more to it than that. Further research is needed! Nevertheless, men and women are different, and for that I am thankful.

There are eighteen of these of these Proverbs, so I hope to do a rather quick summary of each one, especially since some are similar. So, we won’t be going in-depth on all of these, but we are getting the overview. We will look at ten of these today and the remaining eight next Sunday, if the Lord wills. I did see some categories start to develop with some of these, so we could have divided our study by sub-topic, but I’ve decided to continue with our tradition of looking at these in canonical order, in the order they appear in scripture, simply to make it easier for all of us to follow along in our own Bibles.

    1. But let’s start today with Proverbs 10:10, where King Solomon says that, “He who winks the eye causes trouble, and a babbling fool will be ruined.”

This is one of those that could have gone in several categories. We could probably have an entire lesson on everything King Solomon says about winking! Back then, as with today also, winking can sometimes be associated with deception. And so, a person might say something, but if there’s a “wink, wink, do you know what I mean?” that usually means that they want you to look beneath the actual words that are spoken, and they want you get some kind of secret or hidden message. I might almost compare it to excitedly talking about taking your dog to the V-E-T. It’s not a perfect example, but it’s the idea of saying something in a coded or deceptive way. So, that’s the first part of this.

In the second half of this proverb, though, King Solomon clearly says that “a babbling fool will be ruined.” When we think of “babbling,” we think of somebody talking, and talking, and talking, and never stopping, often talking about stuff that doesn’t really matter. That’s what is happening here. And King Solomon doesn’t just come right out and say it, but I think he’s saying here, “If you are foolish, stop talking!” There’s a warning, “a babbling fool will be ruined.” A fool has a way of talking him or herself into trouble.

    2. Our second proverb today is somewhat similar and comes a few verses later in Proverbs 10:14, where Solomon says that, “Wise men store up knowledge, but with the mouth of the foolish, ruin is at hand.”

The difference with this one is that this one starts with a positive. On one hand, “Wise men store up knowledge.” To store up knowledge is to listen and observe and to gain wisdom as a result of it. In my mind, I picture a silo. When I was a kid, I remember a field trip to the place where they designed the International HarveStore silos. Those are the big, blue expensive-looking silos you see on various farms. We looked at the computer-aided design they were using back in the mid-80’s, on the cutting edge. There’s a lot involved in designing a silo, but it’s important to be able to store grain without damage from wind, or rain, or critters. The wise, then, will “store up knowledge,” almost like a farmer storing up grain. On the other hand though, “with the mouth of the foolish, ruin is at hand.” Ruin is imminent.

I’m thinking of King Hezekiah, normally a fairly wise king, but there was a point in his life (in 2 Kings 20), when the king of Babylon came over for a visit. And you may remember how King Hezekiah basically took the Babylonian king on the “grand tour,” showing him everything – babbling on and on about his weaponry, and defenses, and stockpiles, and treasures. Well, when the prophet Isaiah checks in, he learns of this and basically predicts that a day was coming when everything (including Hezekiah’s descendants) would be taken away to Babylon. “Loose lips sink ships,” may be a more modern version of this proverb, and the point is: When the foolish speak, ruin is often right around the corner. One solution, then, is to stop talking! The foolish, though, probably aren’t reading this proverb. We are, so we have the reminder that there are many times when we simply need to speak less.

    3. We continue with the next, one, just a few verses later, in Proverbs 10:19, where King Solomon says that, “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.”

This is somewhat similar to the first two, but he makes the point here that when we speak many words, we simply give ourselves more opportunities to sin. And that’s interesting. This seems to be somewhat parallel to James saying, “Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment.” James continues with the warning that it is nearly impossible to tame the tongue. And if we think about it in terms of the numbers we looked at earlier, if we really do speak 13,000 words per day, that’s 13,000 ways that we might say something terrible. The more words, the greater the risk. That’s 13,000 chances to say something inappropriate, 13,000 chances to say something disrespectful to a child, a classmate, a coworker, a parent, or a spouse, 13,000 chances to hurt somebody’s feelings, 13,000 chances to lie, or deceive, or belittle, or to lash out in anger. And when we think about it, most of the time when we have to apologize for something, it’s probably because of something we said. Saying stuff is risky business.

Well, if it’s highly likely that we sin when we speak, one solution is to speak less! Solomon, then, makes a similar observation, “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable.” The more words we produce, the greater the chances will be that we will say something terrible. That’s just the way it is. Therefore, Solomon says, “but he who restrains his lips is wise.” Many times, the wise thing to do is just to not say anything at all. And I know, there are times when we do need to speak up, but there are many more times when we just need to be quiet. Just because I have an opinion on something does not mean I need to be sharing it.

    4. We continue with Proverbs 11:12, where King Solomon says that, “He who despises his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding keeps silent.”

We could have put this in with the neighbor proverbs, but I’ve put it here because of what comes in the second half of this one. On one hand, we have a guy who despises his neighbor. I am very thankful to have had some great neighbors through the years. But we know, however, that neighbors do have a way of getting into it from time to time. And this makes sense, because we sometimes have more conflict with the people we are around most often. I remember a situation down in Janesville many years ago, where a guy shoveled his driveway after a heavy snow, his neighbor used a snowblower to blow it all back, and the first guy ran over and beat his neighbor with his snowshovel. We understand that. Sometimes, though, we may not have a reason to beat our neighbor, and if we let that fester, if we have this ongoing animosity toward a neighbor, if we “despise” a neighbor, King Solomon says that we “lack sense.” According to King Solomon, therefore, it is stupid to hate your neighbor, and this implies that the animosity is on our part. So, it’s not just a matter of our neighbor not liking us, but this is us not liking our neighbor. And it apparently involves words. So, in the second half, “a man of understanding keeps silent,” and this is opposed to the first half, where we might assume that a man without understanding may be constantly arguing with his neighbor. That is stupid, King Solomon says.

    5. We continue with Proverbs 12:13, where King Solomon says that, “An evil man is ensnared by the transgression of his lips, but the righteous will escape from trouble.”

I know we talked about the danger of getting caught in a snare in a previous lesson from Proverbs, but a snare is basically a trap made out of string or wire, and it’s set in such a way that an animal puts its head through the loop, and the loop tightens, and the animal panics, the loop tightens, the animal panics even more, and death comes very quickly. This is a snare that I have used to keep certain animals from eating our garden. I’ve made some with wire that have worked quite well also, but this is an actual snare. It is brutal, but effective. Well, here, King Solomon has the picture of a snare in mind as he sees an evil man “ensnared by the transgression of his lips.” Have we ever been caught by something we’ve said? I know last week we talked about regretting something we’ve said. Regret is one thing (and it’s awful), but here the evil man is “ensnared.” He is caught, and it is a graphic picture. Sometimes we can get “ensnared” by the words that we speak. On the other hand, “the righteous will escape from trouble.” Now, this doesn’t mean that the righteous will never have any trouble, but Solomon is observing here that at least the righteous won’t be “ensnared” by the words that they speak.

    6. This brings us to the next verse, Proverbs 12:23, where King Solomon says that, “A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools proclaims folly.”

As we’ve discussed over the past several weeks, it’s normally good when the wise man shares knowledge, but here, the wise will conceal knowledge. And this is in contrast to what happens when the heart of fools proclaims folly. I don’t think Solomon is contradicting what he said previously, but in this context, there are times when those who are truly wise are wise to hold back sharing everything they know on a subject. There are times when sharing knowledge is not appreciated and may even make the situation worse. I’m thinking of what Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 7:6, “Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” What a picture! Jesus invites us to imagine showing off some precious pearls to a bunch of pigs. They don’t care! And not only do pigs not care about expensive jewelry, but they may even trample on those pearls and turn and tear you to pieces. So also with sharing wisdom. Or maybe we can imagine somebody excitedly telling us something they know. I don’t need to say, “Yeah, I already knew that, and then some!” They were happy to share, but now we’ve taken the wind out of their sails, so to speak. There are times when we really don’t need to share what we know on a subject. Stop talking!

    7. We continue this morning with Proverbs 13:3, where King Solomon says that, “The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.”

Let’s start at the end on this one. On one hand, “the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” I’m thinking that has to be a reference to talking. I don’t think this is about the danger of just walking around with your mouth open (although that’s probably not recommended either). So, there’s a danger to talking all the time. It leads to ruin. But on the other hand, “the one who guards his mouth preserves his life.” There is danger in talking, and there is life in not talking. And we know this. We know situations where people get themselves in trouble – maybe by bragging, maybe by insulting somebody, maybe by antagonizing. Often, it is safer to just not say anything. I checked in with my middle school teacher source on this one, and she says that most (if not all) fights start with talking. Usually it’s teasing, or even something intended to be funny, and then it gets out of hand, and then the fight is on. I’m guessing that most fights between adults may start in the same way. Most wars probably start with words as well. Talk more, come to ruin; talk less, preserve life.

    8. We continue with Proverbs 15:28, where King Solomon says, “The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.”

This is somewhat different than the others, in that it’s not an outright ban on talking, but King Solomon is encouraging a pause, “The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer.” So again, this is not a straight up ban on speaking, but he’s suggesting thinking before talking. The alternative is that “the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.” With the wicked, there is no pause. With the wicked, words just pour out, and those words are evil. The wicked have no filter. The practical reminder here, then, is to pause before we speak. We are to think about it before we let it fly. And a related lesson comes with the reminder that there is no dishonor in waiting to answer a question. If we’re in a discussion with somebody and they ask us something (especially in a discussion about the Bible), it is totally fine to say, “I don’t know, but if you can give me a day or two to look into that, I would be glad to get back with you.” And then we write it down, we do some research, we check in with somebody who may know more than we do about it, and then we get back to the person. Answering questions is not a race. This isn’t some game show, where we have to be the first ones to hit a button. It is okay to pause before answering.

    9. Our next one is similar and comes to us in Proverbs 17:27, where King Solomon says that, “He who restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.”

Like some of the others, restraining words is evidence of knowledge. And we notice here that this knowledge-based restraint is parallel to a man of understanding who has a cool spirit. The opposite of this, then, would be angry man with no understanding or a man with no knowledge who says too much. Neither are good, at all. And to me, this really applies when you’re being verbally attacked. After all, a “cool spirit” doesn’t really mean anything if you’re sitting on the couch with nobody around. A “cool spirit” is truly impressive when somebody is being verbally attacked and decides not to respond. I’m thinking of Jesus, who could have called twelve legions of angels, but he chose to take it, instead. Just as Isaiah predicted in Isaiah 53:7, “He was oppressed and He was afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth; like a lamb that is led to slaughter, and like a sheep that is silent before its shearers, so He did not open His mouth.” This is confirmed by Peter (as an eyewitness) in 1 Peter 2:23, who said that, “while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously.” Jesus is the perfect example of someone with a “cool spirit.”

    10. Our next one (our last one for today) is one of my favorites and almost seems to be tacked on to verse 27 (it’s a continuation of the thought), because in Proverbs 17:28, King Solomon says, “Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.”

And I love this, because if a fool can only keep silent, people may think he’s wise. And we have an Americanized version of this which is quite famous, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.” Some have attributed this to Mark Twain, others to Abraham Lincoln (which is a bit more likely than Twain), but we really don’t know. I do, though, think we see the similarity to Proverbs 17:28, “Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.” We understand this. We appreciate this.

Conclusion:

This brings us to the end of today’s study, where we’ve learned from these ten Proverbs that there are many situations when it is much better to STOP TALKING! Yes, there are times when we need to speak up, but excessive talking leads to ruin, transgression, and trouble. Next week, let’s plan on taking a look at the remaining eight verses where King Solomon warns about the danger of talking too much.

Let’s close today’s study in prayer:

Our Father in Heaven,

We come to you again, asking for your help with the words that we speak. We pray for wisdom to speak up when we need to (demanding justice, speaking words of encouragement, and sharing the good news of your Son). But we also ask for your help as we hold back from speaking when we shouldn’t. Thank you, Father, for giving us your wisdom in Proverbs.

Today, we pray for Abe, and Jane, and Melissa, and Tabitha, and all of those who are struggling with their health. You are the Great Physician, so we come to you for help.

We ask all of this in Jesus’ name. AMEN.

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